Here are some more "Classic" Turf Essays. Enjoy.

THANK YOU AND FAREWELL.....By Bill Rogan (9-13-05)
The stare. That's what I'll remember most. The stare. The Mark Messier stare frightened me and snapped me to attention, even though I was just watching on TV. I can only imagine how it felt to be a teammate, or opponent, on the receiving end of the stare.
One of the NHL's all-time greats, Mark Messier, has finally hung up the skates after 25-seasons and 6 Stanley Cups. Five of those cups were won with the Edmonton Oilers. But the one he won with the Rangers is Messier's defining and shining moment. I never thought I would see the Rangers win a Stanley Cup. Year after year, heartbreak. Adding to the torment were the derisive chants of 19-40, 19-40 from those who found sport in mocking the Rangers and their last Stanley Cup championship. Then the Messiah showed up. Despite having the best regular season record in the league in 1994 and steamrolling through the first two rounds of the playoffs, the Rangers faced elimination and another bitter ending in game 6 of the Eastern Conference Finals. That morning, the headline on the back page of the New York Post quoted Messier, "We'll Win Tonight." Messier backed up his guarantee with a hat trick against the Devils in the Meadowlands. The Rangers won that series, then won the Stanley Cup in 7 dramatic games over Vancouver, the winning goal in the decisive game scored by Messier. While most people would say, me included, that Wayne Gretzky was the greatest player of all-time, it is interesting to note that Gretzky never won a Stanley Cup without Messier as a teammate. Messier won two cups without Gretzky. One can also make the argument that Messier was the greatest leader ever in the history of team sports.
I still pop the Rangers Stanley Cup video into the VCR from time to time and I still get emotional seeing Messier hoist the cup. And, I still snap to attention whenever I see the stare.

STEP UP BENSON, NOW!!!...........By Bill Rogan (9-8-05)
New Orleans Saints owner Tom Benson is not the greatest owner in sports. Far from it. That's obvious from his extortion scheme to bilk the state of Louisiana out of 15-million dollars a year for not moving the team. The money was in lieu of a new stadium, which he's been harping about for years. The Saints are the only NFL team which is subsidized by their home state. No other NFL team has begged their state for funds. Stadiums yes. Funding, no. NFL franchises are making so much money that even the owners don't have the gall to ask their states for money. Except for Tom Benson. He's beyond greedy.
Now Benson has the perfect opportunity to ditch New Orleans. Hurricane Katrina has devastated the city. The storm has obliterated the once lively and boisterous city. Dead bodies are floating in the disease ridden waters that engulf the region. The Superdome, the home of the Saints, the Sugar Bowl and so many Super Bowls, is a shell of what it once was. What was once an engineering marvel is now a disaster, so wrecked it may have to come down. Mr. Benson has the perfect excuse to do what he's always wanted to do, skip town. Los Angeles perhaps?
Despite horrid teams over the years, the fans of the gulf coast supported and loved the Saints. Now, more than ever, it's time Benson returned the love. Tom Benson needs to publicly state, immediately, that the Saints will be in New Orleans forever and will play a major role in helping to rebuild the city and its psyche. He needs to stop accepting money from the state to put in his grubby pockets and have that money go to relief efforts. Tom Benson could go from villanous, hoggish owner to civic hero. If the Superdome cannot be fixed, ok, Benson needs to find another venue until a new stadium can be built. Of course, Benson should insist that a new stadium be erected only after the city has been rebuilt to an acceptable level. Afterall, the Saints are only a football team and not as important as the necessities in life such as housing, hospitals, schools and the like.
But it is amazing how a football team can lift and rally the spirits of a community. Benson can't take that away from these people. The Saints are a public trust in New Orleans and Louisiana. If he moves the team it would be kicking people when they are down and at their lowest. Tom Benson needs to do the right thing for the people who have suffered more than can be imagined and the right thing to do is keep the Saints in New Orleans.

SPORTSCASTING 101......By Bill Rogan (9-7-05)
This essay is directed towards my fellow sportscasters. I come to you not as a sportscaster but as a concerned listener who wishes to help improve the craft. Therefore, no names will be mentioned and nothing should be taken personally.
Let me begin by saying it is time to sharpen our pronounciation skills. Here are just a couple of the many that rile me. The Astros have a terrific pitcher Roy O-S-W-A-L-T. It's pronounced Owes-walt, not Oz-walt. I could almost understand messing up his name during his first year in the bigs. Oswalt is now in his 5th season and he won 20-games last year and has 17-victories so far this campaign. Pronounce his name correctly. There is also a little tennis tournament in England each year. It is called Wimbledon. Not Wimbleton. Wimbledon, ending with a d-o-n not a t-o-n.
To my play-by-play broadcasters, it would be nice if you would give the score and time remaining more often, especially on radio. For one particular football announcer, please refrain from using future tense. After a punt has been blocked, don't say, "That punt is gonna be blocked". If a guy scores a touchdown, don't say, "That is gonna be a touchdown". It already IS a touchdown.
Color analysts, if you don't have something to say, don't say it. Don't recite some dumb stat, tell me something pertinent. Also, stop stating the obvious over and over again. Don't continue to insult the listeners by saying it is important to score first. Also, just a reminder, there are no "big wins" in the exhibition season or between two rancid teams going nowhere.
To color men and play-by-players as well, stop cheerleading in the booth. Enthusiasm sure. Flat out homerism has got to go though. It makes you sound like an amateur. You would also be wise to cut back on the word great. Then when you use the word it might have some impact. And another thing, stop yelling at me.
On to the annoying creatures known as sideline reporters. You have all game to think of a couple of questions. Please don't make a statement like, "Great game today," then stick the mic in the subjects face. Ask a question, preferably an intelligent one. For all sportscasters, and news reporters as well, when you conduct an interview, make your questions short and to the point. I want to hear the subject talk, not you. I beg you to stop rambling and trying to dazzle me with your knowledge. Ask the darn question. There. I hope I've helped improve the current state of poor sportscasting, although I doubt it.

THE NFL'S BIG SCAM......By Bill Rogan (9-2-05)
It is time the NFL dramatically slashed ticket prices to exhibition games. That's what they are, exhibition games. The league likes to call them "pre-season" games, like car dealers like to call a used car "pre-owned". Whatever. Exhibiton games, pre-season games...they are meaningless no matter what you refer to them by. If the NFL charges more money for a ticket to a playoff game than a regular season game, it only stands to reason that a regular season ticket would be worth more than an exhibition game that means absolutely nothing. But that's not always the case. Well, fans shouldn't buy tickets to exhibition games they don't want to see. But wait, the NFL forces season ticket holders to purchase tickets to the exhibition games. If you don't buy exhibition game ducats, you won't get your regular season tickets. My mob friends call this extortion. Actually, I don't have mob friends but I thought it was a cool drop in. Anyway, it's time the NFL quit holding their loyal patrons hostage.
Here is what Paul Tagliabue's league should do. Make teams cut ticket prices in half for games that don't count. Give season ticket holders the option to purchase the tickets or not. If they don't want them, sell them to the general public. This would give fans who don't have the opportunity to buy season tickets, or who can't afford a season package, the chance to see their team in person at least once a year. If the NFL really wanted to be benevolent, they would take the tickets that season pass holders didn't want and give them to youth groups. Afterall, today's freeloading kids are tomorrow's paying customers. The NFL needs to stop being greedy by ripping off their fans. The league is making enormous amounts of money. They don't need to continue this shakedown.

HUGGY HISTORY........By Bill Rogan (8-25-05)
Three cheers for Nancy Zimpher. The University of Cincinnati President had enough of basketball coach Bob Huggins and told him to take a hike. She offered a buyout of the two years remaining on his contract and Huggy took the money (3-million bucks) and ran.
Bob Huggins racked up the wins at Cincinnati, although his success isn't as good as you might expect. He took the Bearcats to 14 consecutive NCAA tournaments but flamed out early in most appearances, reaching the final four just once. But forget about basketball success and his poor sideline demeanor for a moment. His renegade program sullied the reputation of the school for years. Huggy turned UC into the modern day UNLV under Jerry Tarkanian. He brought shame to the school by bringing thugs into his program. Cincinnati players were just as likely to be found in a police lineup as the starting lineup. Just this past May, a player was dismissed from the team for carrying a gun on campus. An incoming freshman was charged in June with statutory rape. If I were to list all the major transgressions of Cincinnati hoopsters under Huggins tenure, this would be a 45-minute essay.
The graduation rates for UC players were highly embarrassing. Yes, it has improved recently, but going from zero players graduating to a few isn't something to do chest pumps to. The Bearcats basketball team had the lowest grade point average of all the sports at UC. One player had a 0.0 GPA this past year and another would have had a zero grade point average if not for a couple of incompletes.
In the past, lack of institutional control has landed Cincinnati's basketball program on probation. There was also the humiliating episode where Huggins was seen, on tape, staggering around incoherently after getting busted for drunk driving in June of last year. This is a guy who should have been fired long ago. People who only care about winning basketball games are angry with Zimpher for getting rid of Huggins. She is a school president who actually believes education is the mission of a university. There are plenty of excellent college basketball coaches who can take the place of Huggins and produce a winning hoops program, one that the school can be proud of. A program where the players actually graduate and are solid citizens. As for Huggins, he won't be unemployed too long. Some school will scoop him up. Afterall, he wins basketball games.

TIME TO HANG UP THE GLOVES......By Bill Rogan (8-19-05)
I'm proud of my home state of New York. Not only was New York the first state to ban the use of hand-held cell phones while driving, they also suspended Evander Holyfield's boxing license to fight in the state indefinitely. The New York Athletic Commission cited Holyfield's "poor performance and diminished skills" in his latest bouts as the reason for suspending his license. Of course, Holyfield's camp isn't happy. But, they should be most thankful. Thankful that finally someone is saying, "Evander, hang up the gloves. You're done. It's over".
I've always liked Evander, ever since he won a bronze medal at the 84 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles as a light heavyweight. I saw his first professional fight a few months later at Madison Square Garden. That was 21-years ago! That is a long time to be dishing out and receiving fistic punishment. Holyfield has been a 4-time heavyweight champeen. He's earned over 150-million dollars in his boxing career. Unlike that dope Mike Tyson, who has made more than twice that but squandered it, Holyfield, by all accounts has been wise with his money. He doesn't need to fight. But as long as people can make money off Holyfield taking shots to the head, they'll line up and encourage the past-his-prime pugilist to step into the ring again.
I don't mind when athletes hang on too long in most cases. If a baseball player overstays his welcome, his stats take a hit and maybe our memories of that player become a bit tarnished. Same for a basketball player. However, in boxing, when a fighter hangs on too long they get hurt. Pugilistic dementia, a nice way of saying 'punch drunk' has effected untold numbers of boxers. Most don't have the finances to walk away from the game. Many haven't the skills to do anything else. But Holyfield? He's rich, famous and doesn't need to fight. Well, maybe he needs the glory of climbing into the ring, but at least New York won't let him get hurt or killed on their watch.
Another one of my favorite fighters was Tommy Hearns. The Motor City Hitman is now 46-years old and has just come out of retirement. He fought, and won, just three weeks ago. I don't know of anyone who thinks Hearns' comeback is a good idea.
Commercial airline pilots are forced to retire at the age of 60. Maybe there should be a mandatory retirement age for boxers.

ROUND AND ROUND THEY GO.....By Bill Rogan (8-18-05)
We had a caller to Artificial Turf last week chastise me for not talking about the Grand Prix of Denver. Or is that the Denver Grand Prix? By the way, why is there an X on the end of Prix? Shouldn't it be spelled pri or pree? I digress. My point is, I simply didn't talk about the Denver Grand Prix (Grand Prix of Denver?) because I hate motor sports. I find them to be a complete waste of time. Motor sports are boring, loud and environmentally unsound. It's not sport, it's survival. If I knew someone who raced cars, I wouldn't care if they won or lost, just that they lived to tell about it. Then, if they tried to tell me about it, I would walk away telling them I'm not interested. I'm glad you lived now tell someone else about it.
It is unfortunate when a driver slams into a wall at mach speed and kills himself. But they understand the risks involved. If someone drives a car at ridiculous speeds, whether on the race track or public roads, and they wreck into a barrier or tree and die, so be it. Natural selection works in many ways. Hopefully they don't take anybody out with them. I just don't find it sporting when drivers get killed, or even worse, fans get killed because of flying debris. Seriously, what is the point of auto racing? Swiftly moving billboards? Is there anything auto racing won't advertise? So Jeff Gordon has a faster car than......help me out here, I can't even think of another driver off the top of my head. Whomever. Ok, Gordon has the fastest car and wins a race. Yeah, so? To quote NBA player Derrick Coleman, "Whoopty damn doo."
I know it is fashionable to be a fan of NASCAR and whatever other race circuits are out there. If you want to be part of the fad for a while until another ridiculous thing comes along (poker anyone?) fine. But don't bash me because I don't like your so-called sport. And don't get me started on drivers being great athletes. To be a great athlete they have to be athletes. They aren't.

AN OPEN LETTER TO TERRELL OWENS....By Bill Rogan (8-11-05)
Dear T-O,
We've never met nor have we ever spoken. But I feel there are some things I need to say to you in the wake of your suspension by the Eagles. I think you are a terrific wide receiver, one of the most talented in the game today. Your performance in the Super Bowl, coming off a broken leg, was amazing and had your Philadelphia Eagles won the game, you would have been the hands down MVP. With you leading the way this season, the Eagles have another shot to end up in the Supe. I would also like to ask you this....how in the world are you unhappy with your contract? You are making 7-million beans a year to play football. If you are unhappy now, I would hate to see if you had a regular job making a fraction of what you earn now. You are obviously not a team player. You are an individual who is only out for one person. T-O is only interested in T-O. In the ultimate team game, you have displayed a complete disregard for your teammates. You've sulked and pouted at training camp like a brooding teenaged girl whose parents won't give her money for a shopping spree. You alledgedly pulled your groin and couldn't practice. When you did practice, you did so on another field away from your teammates. You got into a verbal altercation with your well respected obese head coach Andy Reid. You've refused to speak to and associate with your teammates. You've been publicly critical of quarterback Donovan McNabb, who happens to be one of the best qb's in the league and the guy who gets you the ball. You're more spoiled than milk left outside on a hot sunny day. Your transgressions and selfishness are appalling and you are going to bring the Eagles down with you. You know, one bad apple spoiling the whole bunch. You are the biggest prima donna in sports and this is all going to end up badly for you and the Eagles. I just want to say, Terrell Owens, keep up the good work. Don't change a thing. Your efforts in ruining the Eagles are much appreciated by this Giants fan. Thank you! And, thank you again!
Sincerely,
Bill Rogan Artificial Turf

FANTASY FOOTBALL FREAKS.....By Bill Rogan (8-3-05)
There are three kinds of people I stay away from. People who try to talk to me while they are talking on their cell phone, those who constantly quote the Bible and fantasy football league players. Fantasy football league dorks are becoming increasingly more irritating and annoying.
First of all, I don't care about your fantasy league team. Not one bit. Don't tell me about how you traded for Tony Gonzalez while de-activating Steve McNair for Sunday's game. I don't know if sitting Ahman Green in favor of Brian Westbrook is a good idea. Don't know, don't care. I'm not interested in hearing about how last year you finished 7th but after a stellar fantasy draft you are in 2nd place this year. Yawn.
Aren't NFL games themselves good enough for you? Do you really need added incentive to watch and enjoy the games? Isn't good old fashioned gambling against the pointspread or office pools sufficient enough for you to be interested in the NFL? What is missing in your life that you have to pretend to be an NFL owner, general manager and head coach? Don't you have a family? A job? Other interests?
This fantasy football stuff is getting out of hand. I never tell people what I do for a living for fear that they are fantasy football wackos who will then try to garner as much information from me as possible to help their fantasy teams. Let me tell you somthing. I don't want to help you. Even if I could, I wouldn't. I'm not on your fantasy payroll, I don't have season tickets to your fantasy team in your fantasy stadium where I can cheer your fantasy players and leer at your fantasy cheerleaders. Just because I'm on the Broncos e-mail list doesn't mean I can be your fantasy football consultant. If you wish to talk football with me, great, I'm always up for that. But only if it's a discussion about real football. As soon as you start in with that fantasy football nonsense the conversation ends. Immediately.
Oh, and another thing. For as much as I love the NFL, my fantasies don't involve football. So please fantasy football freaks.....LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

VIAGROIDS..........By Bill Rogan (8-2-05)
This is America. People are innocent until proven guilty. Take the case of Rafael Palmiero. The Orioles first baseman, suspended for 10-games for steroid use, insists he didn't knowingly or intentionally take the juice. I believe him. I also believe in Santa Claus, UFO's, the Tooth Fairy and that the Rockies will win the pennant this year.
When Palmiero testified before congress in March, I actually did believe him. Unlike Mark "I'm not here to talk about the past" McGwire, Palmiero was vehement in his denials about ever using steroids. His passion made me think he was telling the truth. He was angry. He was also apparently acting.
Palmiero ain't no Einstein either. Once baseball finally started testing for steroids, you would think a player with his credentials, if he was on the juice, would stop. You would think. If he wasn't ever on 'roids, you would think he wouldn't start. One can almost, I said almost, understand when bums like Alex Sanchez and Jorge Piedra use steroids. They stink, they know they stink and maybe they can parlay cheating into a big-money contract. With all that money, they can get the best medical care when their intestinal organs give out. But for a player with Palmiero's Hall of Fame to be status, to get popped for steroids is not only dumb, its unfathomable.
Palmiero insisting that he didn't know how steroids got into his body is insulting to fans everywhere. A professional athlete doesn't know what goes into his body? To say he didn't intentionally put steroids in his system is laughable. Do false positives occur in drug testing? Yes, it happens at times. However, do you think baseball would have suspended one of its star players if they weren't certain the results were legit?
Rafael Palmiero. 500-plus home runs. 3,000-plus hits. Tainted. Cheater. Ticket to Cooperstown? Not so fast.
(*For a previous essay on Palmiero, read the essay titled "Stats are overrated" on 6-22-05)

THEY'RE BACK AND SO AM I.......By Bill Rogan (7-22-05)
So the NHL is coming back this season. Gee, thanks fellas. Well, I would like to spout off about how I'm not going to attend any games, I won't be watching on TV and I won't be paying a bit of attention to the NHL. They dumped me last year. I'm finished with them. I would like to say that. But I can't. I love the game too much.
Yes, I feel betrayed. Yes, I feel jilted. And yes I feel like the NHL takes their fans, the few that they have, for granted. But if I stopped watching the NHL, what does that do for me? It just eliminates something I enjoy from my life. So while I can be a stubborn rockhead at times, I will come back to the game that left me.
We have all had family members and friends that did something we didn't like or approve of. Each and every one of us has done something regrettable. But we forgive, most of the time anyway. So I forgive the NHL for taking the game away from me for a year but I won't forget.
As for the league itself, time to make amends. Most teams, with the new salary cap, will cut ticket prices. Good, that's a start. How about open practices? Free stuff. Meet and greets with the players. All those things and more need to be done for the fans. But most of all, how about a big "We're Sorry" from the players and owners? Let us know that you are truly remorseful about the damage you have done.
Moving to the leaders responsible for this mess, union stooge Bob Goodenow, an arrogant and incompetent buffoon, needs to be removed immediately by the players association. He was destroyed by the owners and I don't want to see his sour mug ever again. NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman did what he had to do to bring fiscal sanity to the game. He did his job. But he needs to go as well. The players hate his guts and don't trust him. He is not popular with the fans either. They need a new face at the top so Bettman needs to exit. Years from now we may look back and say Bettman helped save the NHL. But that is then and this is now. The NHL needs a new commissioner. Who that will be is another discussion for another time.
Bottom line is, hockey is back and I'll be back as well. I'm still a bit hacked off but as soon as I see the Rangers on the ice, I'll be rooting hard for my team. Although, with how bad the Rangers have been for a long time, considering how much torment they've put me through during my lifetime, perhaps I should boycott the game for good. Nah! Let's Go Rangers!!!!!